What if horror icons decided they were tired of sharp blades and chose instead to use lightsabers? The brilliant minds over at Halloween Love tried it out, just to see, and the results are hilarious. Except when they’re not… Michonne would wield a mean lightsaber, it honestly looks good on her.
Ghostface is fond of getting in close for the kill. Never one to shy away from slashing and stabbing, the lightsaber blade would probably do wonders for his technique.
This is where the hilarity comes in. Michael Myers creeping around Haddonfield, Illinois, carrying this aptly colored lightsaber is a bit of a stretch. He wouldn’t be able to get out of eyesight quick enough once Tommy tries convincing Laurie there’s a boogeyman outside. Surely, Loomis and the daft Sheriff would catch on quick to his scheme; Michael’s huge! But wouldn’t you love seeing him sling this thing around? It’d be a sight to behold.
Poor Wendy, that door is coming down even faster with Jack’s new found lightsaber. At least she has one of her own to better defend herself. However, an insane man with this technology is not something you want to bet on beating.
Okay, this one is a bit much. But seeing Pinhead with lightsaber needles would send anyone a-running. Unless you like shiny things…
Another one that induces laughter. Freddy looks ridiculous, albeit slightly less scary. The good news is that it matches his Christmas sweater, flawlessly; the only down side is knowing that it would have been even better with alternating red and green lightsabers. The bad news is… well, how bloody could Freddy Krueger’s kills get with these? Would his creativity and bloodlust be hindered by this alteration?
The general consensus is that this film wasn’t very good. The general consensus is awfully correct. Who knows? Maybe scenes like this, with lightsabers, would have brightened the film up a bit.
Thomas Harris probably never thought to give the serial killer a lightsaber, and good thing he didn’t because this too looks ridiculous. But if there’s one takeaway here, it’s that Hannibal would find slicing corpses and vegetables vastly more simple. Food for thought.
When most people are asked what their weapon of choice would be in the zombie apocalypse, they say “lightsaber.” It’s too easy an answer, and no one is better equipped to prove it right than Michonne. She looks amazing with it. It suits her. That’s how TWD’s creative team can get back in the good graces of fans after last week’s finale. Give Michonne a lightsaber and all will be forgiven and forgotten.
Images: Halloween Love via Bloody-Disgusting