9. Tonight, wrestlers will be talking!
For the past two decades, Raw has evolved from a wrestling show into an overlong soap opera, with more jaw-jacking than the cast of Requiem for a Dream. For a show about live, choreographed fighting, there’s still far too much chin music. (Relax. There’s always room for that kind of chin music.)
To be fair, WWE still consistently delivers on the action. There just isn’t enough action, especially when you consider the time dedicated to in-ring promos and backstage segments.
Immediately following the opening, a title card slaps the screen, promising tonight’s big moment.
It’s not a match. Rollins, Ambrose, and Reigns will be talking. Like you do, in normal life. No, not about how the copier is down, or that your local grocer’s stopped stocking your favorite brand of yellowfin. They’ll mostly be talking about the fight that Rollins and Reigns could be having right now.
Surely, WWE got our letter about this. The one that suggests that they simply let their wrestlers wrestle? Superstars who can talk should get segments highlighting this, but don’t expect Roman Reigns to pick up a mic and turn into Phil Hendrie.
Also tonight, John Cena and A. J. Styles will be having their own little gab session. So that’s two main event talk segments in one show. If there’s one thing that works more slowly than Congress, it’s WWE.