8. It’s for the kids, man.
You know this stuff is for children, right? Of course you do. Try to remember that the next time someone dares to make a Superman movie that children might actually enjoy. Superheroes have always been big with kids, but Spider-Man, to this day, has a massive market share. He’s far and away the coolest superhero, from the could-be-anyone-under-there mask to the snarky attitude. He’s the one piece of sixties culture that remains cool to everyone, especially kids. (Except Hendrix, of course. Kids love Hendrix.)
If your child isn’t as into superheroes as you are, relax. First of all, it’s more swag for you on Free Comic Book Day. More importantly, the kid might turn out normal. How about taking them outside? You can wear your Deadpool shirt to the park.