Nearly everything Bram Stoker, horror films, books, and video games have taught us about the creatures of the night has been a lie. The grab-and-go method so typically depicted is simply not plausible, according to physics students from the University of Leicester. Their research must be legitimate, since it was published by the university press’ Journal of Physics Special Topics.

The students calculated vampires would need roughly 6.4 minutes to fulfill their task. This is due to the human body’s inability to maintain function after significant blood loss. If the body losses 15 percent of its blood, the heart rate is altered, thus the blood is no longer as healthy as need be. With that information in tow, the students set their task to figuring how long it would take 15 percent of the body’s blood to exit two holes through the neck.

To begin their calculations, the Leicester students first needed to make hypotheses based on vampire-human interactions. Vampires only need blood for sustenance, killing is not their intention; gravity also played a part in that it is an insignificant factor; their final assumption was that the five arteries leading out of the aorta are each of the same size and smoothness.

Vampires leaving puncture wounds 0.5mm in circumference would need approximately 6.4 minutes to drain 15 percent  of the human body’s blood, according to the student’s findings. That’s a lengthy amount of time for a creature who needs to make a quick exit.

This would have made for an excellent Mythbusters episode.

 

SourceGizmodo; Image: From Nosferatu via Film Arts Guild